I have to remind myself that it’s all so simple. When I stress, think about what’s wrong, and complain I take a step back and tell myself “OK you’re doing too much, go talk to God”. When I talk to Him He reminds me that all He wants is me. He wants me to be aware that He cares for me and that I can come to Him about anything. He lets me know that most of the things I worry about is small. Most of the time it’s not even worth my brain power. This is why I love my Lord. He’s not a far away God. He corrects me with love. He is very patient with me. He gives me time to find my faults and ask for forgiveness for them. Most of all He lives in me. You can’t get any closer than that. Thank You Lord!
Yes I made a promise to my husband when I got married. I promised to be with him through sickness and health, until death. I not only married my husband though, I married my words. When things get hectic and I get the urge to ask “why did I get married?”, I tell myself that I must honor the thing that has gone out of my mouth. It wasn’t only the court judge who witnessed my vows, but God was present also. He is a God of commitment. What ever goes out of His mouth does not return unto Him void. He expects the same from me when it pertains to my vows. This actually keeps me focused on God throughout my marriage because I am being like Him. Putting my commitment in the forefront of my mind allows all the other necessary attributes to flow from me. Love, patience, kindness, forgiveness, selflessness, are the result of me committing to my vows and honoring God. I not only married my husband, I married my words.
I was guilty. I left and searched for another. Even though my marriage was tough, my mindset about marriage was all wrong. I did not understand the level of commitment it takes to keep a marriage together. The sacrifice and selflessness marriage requires was not something that came naturally to me. During my divorce, I learned my character flaws. I saw my selfishness and pride. I learned that I did not take God’s word to be the final authority in my life. If I had, I would not have looked for another husband. Mark 10:26 says, “And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.” Even though I was raised in a Christian home, I had rarely even heard about this scripture. But through God’s grace and mercy, He used this truth to allow me to get my husband back and I am forever grateful!
Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but I have a much stronger love with someone else. Yes people, I’m in love with Jesus and He’s in love with me. The fact that I have this relationship with my savior makes my marriage even possible at all. When God comes first in my life, everything lines up like it should. I don’t stress about family issues. I let God know my heart in prayer and He gives me the wisdom to handle things as a child of God would. In His word He tells me not to worry about anything but bring my issues to Him, and He takes care of them. This takes a load off of me. It says to God, “Hey this is too much for me, I need your help” and He comes to my rescue every time. But God deals with me first and what I’m doing wrong, because His main concern is for me to be like Him in heart. So I have to get my internal issues corrected and then my circumstances and life will line up and I can receive the best from my husband, God.
I gave my marriage another try. We were divorced for 4 years and seeking new relationships, but God had other plans. I was the one who left and initiated the divorce. In my eyes there was no looking back because I was done. I was moving on to someone more compatible to me, or so I thought. I ended up being with someone who I planned to marry and we had a child, but he turned out not to be the person I thought he was. My prayer to God was “I just want a husband”, and I felt He was saying, “I already gave you one”. That stunned me. I began asking God to restore my marriage, even though it looked impossible. Somehow, the man upstairs worked it out and we are remarried and have a much better union than before (mostly because I have more conversations with God now). If it worked for me, it can happen for anyone. Here are 6 tips for anyone wanting their marriages back:
- The process of reconciliation requires patience and understanding on your end. Don’t rush or pressure him about anything.
- Make yourself believe you are starting over. If you see him as the same guy with the same old problems, it will be boring and draining.
- Have a positive outlook. Put in your mind that this reconciliation will be a new and exciting journey for the both of you. If you can make this work, nothing will be impossible to overcome in your marriage.
- Sex can wait during the dating phase. Old arguments can resurface and you need to be clear minded in order to handle it.
- Show him a different side of you. If you talked a lot before, listen more now.
- Look well put together every time you see him. Impress him visually.
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None of us are shocked anymore when we see that a celebrity couple are divorcing or splitting up. It’s kinda like ” I knew that was coming”. How did we get here? Why don’t we care about keeping our marriages anymore? Why don’t we talk more about reconciliation instead of moving on? The problem is we are becoming people that don’t value promises anymore. The bible says that in the last days men will be “truce breakers”. People are more preoccupied with themselves and will do what it takes to make them feel good. What about the family structure? What about the domino effect that divorce has on future generations? We don’t think like this anymore. It’s all about “me” and this has to change.
I heard how the book “50 Shades of Grey” was inspiring couples to be more passionate in their relationships. I want to share how the “Song of Solomon” (a book in the bible) has worked for me. I started reading this book because I found it to be very different from the other books in the bible. It contains vivid sexual imagery due to the romantic love of a husband and wife. I began to read this book almost on a daily basis and noticed how it helped me to be more intimate with my husband. At first I didn’t pay any attention but then I thought about it: am I being more sexually involved with my husband because of what I’ve been reading? I believe I have. God’s word is here for EVERY area of our lives and I’m so grateful that I’ve discovered this hidden gem in the bible. I encouraged anyone who’s married to repeatedly read this book. God bless!